I went to a wonderful workshop at a feminist conference today. It was led by sex workers, mostly women, a trans man and another man. There was about thirty of us in the small area divided off from another section. Many of the people in the audience were sex workers as well.That sex workers were included in a feminist conference was a big deal. In the past feminists have been the arch enemy of sex workers. However, sex workers deal with a lot of unfair discrimination, not to mention unpleasantness from the general public (you and I) that is encouraged by inaccurate stereotypes, so it had always puzzled them that the feminists would see them as enemies.
Mind you, they can't really understand why women see them as the enemy at all. But that is because they have one enormous advantage over us women at home - knowledge.
So the first thing to talk about is why I went to this workshop when I had many to choose from.
It all started with an interesting article I read about younger women who are going to male prostitutes (buffed handsome, healthy ones) to lose their virginity. I was shocked and enthralled to learn about this. But after thinking about it for a little while, I thought – what a great idea! (I wish I'd thought of that years ago)
Imagine parents going to a sex worker, and having a conversation with hr about enrolling their son or daughter in safe / consensual / open minded sex? And then offering it to their son or daughter as a gift or opportunity?
Anyway, that article made me think. What if prostitution wasn’t in the hand of sleazy men? What if it belonged to women and healthy good men? What if you could go and “sweat out” those “girl attraction” issues you had with a professional instead of your best friend when you were drunk? What if men could be educated about safe sex and consensual sex from a professional instead of trying to work it out for themselves from a world filled with porn and mates and jealous girlfriends?
It’s a radical idea – I know. And its way out there. But still, it bares thinking about. I mean, unless you think sex and love are the same thing, there is no way something like this can interfere with your love life – I mean your real love life. So where is the threat?
Speaking with these women and men today helped me see that sex workers are NOT our enemy. We are simply told that. It is not a choice between “Madonna and whore” as we have been told either. There is more to the subject than that. These women are friends, students, mothers, transgendered people living difficult lives, gay men, gay women, your neighbor, your friend. They are older, younger, all body types and they are beautiful and ugly and sometimes both at different times.
They’re you and me.
I was very grateful they took the time to talk with me and I was very grateful to be a part of the conversation.
Please feel free to read more about sex workers rights at the Scarlet Alliance website.
