Thursday, January 23, 2014

Fantasies about Force (Part Two)

This great image was taken from the Delta of Venus erotic image site. Click on the image and go and have a look at their site. #share the love. 

Part of what will transform fantasies about force, is male desire. If we encourage the conversation, men will feel more comfortable to "come out" about their own force fantasies about rape. If men are having these fantasies, particularly straight men thinking about other men, or even women raping them, the conversation starts to leave the domain of cause and effect.

In a conversation I had a few years back with a prostitute who was very well organised politically and socially, she stated that prostitution needed to be unionised, insurances needed to be obtained, and most of all, sex workers needed to be included in the public conversations about them. She explained to me, that taking prostitution out of the deep dark realms of illicit sleaze and forbidden secrets, solves almost all of the social problems associated with it. More than anything else, she wanted to be included when society got together to "discuss prostitution" something that is almost never done with sex workers themselves.

By shining bright lights on these rumours, myths and secrets, you bring what is unconscious to the fore and make it conscious. There are lots of forums and places on line, even more now that erotica is such a hot genre in the reading world, for people to talk about force fantasies and what is really happening when we do that.

I know that for myself, when I was a strict Christian, I had vivid thrilling force fantasies, that died and become uninteresting when I left the church. You don't need a degree in psychology to work out what is going on there, and I was even conscious of this when I was in the Church. Part of what helped me leave was an ongoing reflection on the power the church had over me. My fantasies helped me understand myself. People can (and more importantly need to) be trusted with their own desire.

They have to be. If we are going to continue down the path that the fantasy of one individual causes or permisses the poor behaviour of another individual, we are building a world that we have been working very hard to remove ourselves from. 

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