You’ve probably had all of them – then again maybe not. Then again, maybe you have. Either way, your secret is safe with me.
When Nancy Friday blew the lid on female sex fantasies in 1976 the world was shocked.
Even today, when I did some research for this post, I found immediately we were happy to have the chat about the standard accepted fantasies for women (rape fantasy, BDSM, and group) but what about the really nasty ones that nearly every woman experiences? These are still taboo – in some cases illegal.
Still, we are talking fantasy here. Not practise. We all know the rape fantasy is about being forced to be bad so you don’t have to feel guilt, not about being emotionally abused so that you suffer to the depths of your humanity for months. There is a very big difference between fantasy and reality.
I have compiled a list, called from over 25 lists that I have found on the net and in books that I (conveniently) own. This is the list of my top ten most interesting female sexual fantasies.
10. An audience
What is interesting about this fantasy is that it is not an orgy fantasy. This is a common one for women, where they audience do not participate. Sometimes they watch, sometimes they don’t. When the audience is going about their business, not noticing that Jennifer is fucking her husband on the table in the middle of the restaurant, this can be part of the thrill of being caught, or it can be the tacit approval of love making. Other times, women will get the audience to watch, and sometimes even clap their approval . Sometimes the audience will be stacked with people she knows, or famous figures from films or history.
This is often about control. About being your own Fellini, and deciding what people can and can’t do during your orgasm.
9.Terror
This is not the same as rape. This is a sexual attraction – very real – for abject terror. When I was a teenage girl I had a reoccurring nightmare about being pursued in an abandoned amusement park. Eventually I was chased into a room where cats were being gutted alive into a large pit filled with writhing entrails. This is a dream that I had over and over that used to leave me waking feeling oddly sexual. It wasn’t till I heard about this, this I understood my adolescence was looking at something rather common. Why do some women get aroused by terror? It may have something to do with the bodies responses. Or it may be as simple as the fear of not having an orgasm.
8. Transformation
It will come as no surprise to any of us to discover that women crave beauty.
It is the easiest access to power for a woman, and therefore something that almost all women will want at some point in their lives. However, there are women that crave this sexually. Their own transformation from ordinary looking woman to desirable woman. Fantasies involving “extreme make overs” , or being fashioned by a doctor looking for the perfect woman, are more common than we might think. It makes sense. If by making the mirrors more flattering in the ladies, factories can get better work from their female employees, then it should be no surprise to us that some women find the makeover a sexual experience. At least in fantasy.
7. The fertility Goddess.
This is one for the boys – yes women do fantasise and get off on feeling like they can make many babies, just like the men do. There is a kind of masturbatory fantasy for women that involves them being pregnant and making babies.
But the fertility goddess goes beyond this. Some women fantasise about their vagina's actually being part of the earth. The most deeply fertile place. That when they are being fucked, he is really fucking the earth and they are a deep part of nature.
6. Incest.
Yup. Incest. Go to any of the most popular written porn sites and you will see incest is one of the most popular taboos to break through. This ranges from the sanitized version of “a father” and “a daughter” right through to imagining themselves with their own parents or siblings. Sometimes, incest fantasies for women will cross all sorts of boundaries and have them with both their parents – fantasies about their actual parents. Either way, this is a very strong taboo that many people in societies, male and female, like to fantasise about.
5. Multiracial
This is a very interesting fantasy. It has a lot to do with racism, and guilt over racism. For example some women will fantasise about the black man – but he has to rape her – alleviating her guilt at wanting to be with a man of colour. When women fantasise about black men, they usually have the stereotyped huge cock. Indulging in racism in this way, especially if one feels guilty about racist ancestors or abandoned upbringing, can be very arousing. Stereotypes live through Asian men as well, the physical attributes taking over any other sort of attraction. Interestingly, with Asian men, the fantasy is often a rape one also.
Having said that, I don't mean to imply all multiracial fantasy is steeped in racism. Just that it is generally and unresolved element of our collective psyche.
Having said that, I don't mean to imply all multiracial fantasy is steeped in racism. Just that it is generally and unresolved element of our collective psyche.
4. Fetishists
One of the big mistakes made in psychoanalysis is the idea that women do not experience fetishes.
Women have very interesting, for the most part unexplored, fetishes. One I read about tonight was a deep sexual desire for spilling urine. Not the urine itself (that is surprisingly common and not a fetish) but the act of holding it back till you can’t any longer and splashing it about everywhere. I also knew of a woman who wanted to be dressed up and would pose like a mannequin at sex parties. No one was to touch her all night, she stayed perfectly still. This was her ultimate sexual fulfilment. Fetish alright.
3. Young boys
A big taboo, but one often played out in the teacher / librarian – student scenario. This is all about power. It is all about control. Just like it is for the male counterpart. But there is also something homoerotic in the attraction for the young boy. A kind of male-ising of the female. The young boy has all those connotations of early Greece and the Marquis de Sade. Men having sex with beautiful young boys was the ultimate refusal of women. Women fantasise for many reasons, and often want the privileges that males are gifted. This is a fantasy that allows them to get it, with all the guilt of the age of the boy to act as the perfect distraction.
2. Anonymity
You don’t need to be a rocket scientist here to see the desire in women to be anonymous or why that might be.
In some fantasies she is madame X at the local brothel, and in others she is just more powerful and able to walk up and take what she wants. Anonymity always means the woman doesn’t have to explain herself. And considering women often feel as thought they have to explain themselves, this is a great relief.
In some fantasies she is madame X at the local brothel, and in others she is just more powerful and able to walk up and take what she wants. Anonymity always means the woman doesn’t have to explain herself. And considering women often feel as thought they have to explain themselves, this is a great relief.
1. The Zoo
Yes! The big one. Lock up your pets, and keep away from the aquarium, this is actually one of the most common female fantasies. Its one of my personal favourites, and I know of many women who will enjoy many different kinds of animals in their masturbatory pleasures. A lot of this has to do with the size of that thing hanging down between their legs. Its difficult for women to ignore animal cocks that are obvious. There is also the no guilt factor – usually it all happens “accidently” with no planning, and then there is that primal animal base experience of just fucking because you can.
Well there you have it. 10 of the female fantasy's that Don't usually make it to any of the lists.
Men are also into animals for various reasons, just as much if not more as women. And cock size doesn't always matter to a woman (or man). I for one don't care for cocks or coitus.
ReplyDeletewomen are pigs -absolutely disgusting.
ReplyDeleteIm a 21 year old woman, how throught my life i have found myself fantasising about a brother about the same age as me. - this brother does not exsist - i am an only childe. But theres somthing about being siblings and having everything just fit that does it for me
ReplyDeleteThe fantasy about young boys/girls isn't always about power and control. It can also be about the beauty and innocence of youth.
ReplyDelete