Barbra Writes

2011-11-15T11:31:00.001-08:00

Sexploitation from the Golden Age of Porn!

Do you remember when Nuns and Priests were always at it, women were bi and you were guaranteed to get more than a meal from your pizza delivery guy?

Those were the 1970's, when robots were sexy and every one had pubic hair.

In honour of the Golden Age of Porn, and in order to reclaim it for myself, I've written a series of Sexploitation Novels designed to use the absolute worst in Political Incorrectness to have a fun romp through this classic age.

First in the series is Visit to the Doctor, a three part novel from the age when no self-respecting Doctor would conduct an examination without the busty nurse standing by.

The Doctor will See you now.

Visit to the Doctor #1 is available here.

Visit to the Doctor #2 is available here.

Visit to the Doctor #3 will be out later this week.

Top Ten films Blog-a-Thon

2011-10-26T14:46:00.000-07:00

So the great blog Top ten Films is having a blog-a-thon. The deal is, you have a magic ticket and you can hop into any film you want to grab a ride on. Once you have these choices available, how would you answer the following questions:

1. What character would I most like to be seated beside on a plane?


If I could be 'stuck' for hours next to anyone, it would have to be Emma Peel from the 90's version of the Avengers. I know this was not a popular film, and I know Uma Thurman isn't Diana Rigg, but I adored this film and always harboured a deep desire to be Ms Peel.

2.What character would I most want to enjoy a passionate romance with?

Well for me this was a no-brainer. I adored Rhett Butler when i was a girl, and basically just never got over it. The absolute quintessential hero - Rhett is the main man among men.

3. If I were a cop who would I want as my partner?


Except for the inevitable back-stabbings, I thought Darth Vader was a fun choice.

4. What animated feature would I love to walk around in?

Pretty Much Cleopatra - Queen of Sex got the ball rolling for us on the whole sexual animee thing, and I'd like to get myself into that flick and work my way through all the dirty manga (that I can take) through time.

5. What adventure based on earth would I most like to go on?

This is an adventure I've ALWAYS wanted to go on. :)

6. What adventure based in an otherworldly, fantasy-based location would I most like to go on?


I was once told, if you didn't love Spirited Away, then you didn't have a soul. I would have to say I agree with this assessment.

7. What movie gadget would I love to try out (or steal)?


Frank-N-furter was able to build his perfect man in this tank thingy he invented. I could definitely use one of those.

8. What film’s plot would I alter and how would I do it?


The Emanuele films just should be better. Now that we see so much more sexuality on the screen, this film has become a little tired and dull. It almost falls into exploitation cinema now, which I happen to think is a shame. I'd love to see these re-written to incorporate a deeper sexuality so it can stand the test of time.

9.What one film would I most want to be transported into, simply to be a part of that world?

I just wanna be Debbie. She introduced me to porn and made me love it (most of it) ever since. THIS is the film I'd most like to hop into and have a fun time. What can I say - I love the classics.

Adventures in Beige

2011-09-21T12:59:00.000-07:00

I just had to add a little tid-bit about this glorious blog I found.

If you like a little full frontal with your cuppa...

Enjoy.

Adventures in Beige.

Erotic depths of Sam Goldberg

2011-09-15T14:24:00.000-07:00

Are you familiar with alternate forms of music?

Sam Goldberg has written a beautiful piece of music here.

Try This:

If you can be naked and alone in bed, or some other comfortable space.

Hook this song up and listen through some headphones.

Let the music overwhelm you as you touch your skin. The touch does not have to be masturbatory, but make it erotic.

This is a lovely piece of music to touch yourself to.

The Sexual Pleasures of Monogamy

2011-09-08T15:37:00.000-07:00

I have always maintained, and do still, that in our westernizedcultures we are for the most part rather prudish about sex. We giggle likeschool boys at the most banal dirty jokes and we are still socked by swear words.For the most part, our pornography is repetitive and dull and fulfils only ateenage male’s sexual fantasy.

Nowhere is this more obvious than in our attitudes tomonogamy.

Monogamy is seen to be this giant rapidly rising chastitybelt that means your wife owns you and you will never have sex again as long asyou live.

This theory conveniently forgets of course that men were theones to come up with monogamy, and are still the ones who need it the most –that is in order to be sure of their offspring’s DNA.

Which brings me toanother aspect of this prudishness – the desire for sex to be only about procreation.This is an across the board prudishness. Both the religious and the biologicaldeterminist (usually arch enemies) are deeply contented bed fellows on thistopic. (I make no apology for the pun) They roll around all over each otherwith such abandon that you can’t tell where one starts and the other finishes.Both stand somewhere on the time line that has sex only ever for procreation onone end and sex is ok, as long as it is primarily used for procreation on theother.

Even so, both these “disciplines” expect that even if you have sex, thatyou acknowledge that it really is meant to be for making a baby. Another aspectof this belief that these two schools of thought share is that sex does notneed intimacy and that monogamy is some sort of punishment that will ensure younever have to enjoy sex again.

All of this, thank fully is complete nonsense. Couples havebeen enjoying their sex lives for many thousands of years. I know, in my immediateacquaintance now, of two couples who have been married for over twenty yearswhere the wife still confesses to me that she worries that the physical is theprimary drive in their relationship and suspects this may not be healthy.

My answer to each of my friends is always the same. How wonderful.

There is always talk that states we all need to be “aware”that most couples will have to deal with infidelity at some point, eithertogether or alone, but this is based on statistics where people volunteerinformation about their sexual habits. Any psychiatrist will tell you thatpeople lie more about sex and money and that it adds to the self esteem (lordknows why) of the individual if they can establish themselves as having cheatedon their spouse at some point. I’m fairlyconvinced people cheat out of boredom – not with the marriage, but with theirday job, their life, and their age – that sort of thing. I think it has more todo with immaturity and a lack of emotional development than any kind of biologicalor “natural” need.

The reasons I think this, is because sex with someone whoknows you really well is just so infinitely superior to sex with people whodon’t know you. If you are addicted to porn, or need the school boy thrill ofseeing your first pair of naked breasts then yes, you will need the stimulationof something new to distract you. But if you are at all familiar with the deeppleasures of your erogenous zones, you will know that your lovers tongue onyour ear lobe, delicately pushing around inside your ear and then whisperingwhat they wish they could do to you, will send you wilder than any across theroom flirt with a woman who you think is hot purely because you know nothingabout how much she hates her mother or how old her children are.

Over time and experimentation and the changesin the body, your long time lover can provide you with pleasures no instantgratification type can offer.

So I say the sooner we get honest about monogamy the better.Basically there is a reason everyone in the world wants it so much.

Because it’s wonderful.

How to: Double Penetration

2011-08-19T05:07:00.000-07:00

So you are thinking of giving the old double a go? Perhaps you and your partner want to include another man for a bit of fun. Or you want to use a vibe while he is in your ass? Maybe, you don’t have a real desire, you watched the porn and it all looked so hot.

My recommendation with the double is practise makes perfect.

This is the sort of sexual experience that you don’t want to go wrong, otherwise you may be turned off for life, or worse, find it so uncomfortable you are turned off other kinds of experimenting.

Here are some suggestions I found worked well.

1. Practise. Start alone and with your vibes. Even when your partner isn’t around. Get two nice cock sized vibes and your favourite porn. Make sure you have lots of time. Stimulate your clit with the vibe and let yourself get very wet. Relax. Enjoy. Take the time to make yourself really worked up.

I like to ease the first one into my ass, and then get the second into my vag. I find the ass one a little harder to hold, so getting that into position first works for me. Sometimes, especially if you have already had the other cock in as well, it works to lean back and sit on the two and slide them in at the same time.

Again, enjoy this. Go as slow or as fast as you want.

2. Film yourself. Take a film on your computer of yourself doing this. Then watch the video. See if it turns you on. Think about what it must be like to see this.

3. Show the video to your mate. When you know the way you like it and you are familiar with it, show the video to your partner. This gives them a chance to have what you like really well explained and will no doubt result in them being turned on. Filming yourself is sexy. Gone are the days of film you hold as a possession. Videos can be erased easily now, so filming yourself carries none of the risk it used to.

4. The first time with your partner, use a lot of lube. Make sure there is no friction. Be clean if that is important to you. If you need have a drink or some other mind altering substance, but go easy. You don’t want to be too out of it. There are some logistics involved and all you need is to be able to relax and talk if it’s not working for you.

5. If it works for you, have some DP porn handy.

6. GO FOR IT.

Have a wonderful time.

Agalmatophilia

2011-08-18T04:48:00.000-07:00

Many years ago – before happily in a monogamous relationship, I “enjoyed” or “played around” with various sexual life style choices.

One of the more interesting ventures was into the world of BDSM. I will talk more about this later in various ways, but I thought I would share a very interesting fetish I came across whilst in the scene.

It’s called Agalmatophilia – or love of mannequins.

This is where a person has a sexual attraction for mannequins.

I think this is one we can all sort of understand, even if it seems dull. We’ve seen of images of people with mannequins, and as we all know, if it is a fetish worth exploring, then a bad 80’s film was made about it.

However, I met two people with a mild variation on this theme.

One, a man, liked to dress women who posed as mannequins.

This man had an enormous fetish clothing wardrobe (for women) and he would bring the wardrobe to parties and dress women up in the clothing he supplied. His sexual pleasure lay in dressing women who would pose for him as he did it. He didn’t touch them sexually, but they had to pose like mannequins.

The other person, who completes this odd story, is a woman whose fetish was to pose like a mannequin.

She was often “placed” at the front door of our parties, dressed to the nines (often by the man with the equal and opposing fetish described above) in a pose and she didn’t move all night.

Perhaps the oddest part of this story, these two were not in a relationship. He would often dress her, and she would pose at the door in the clothing he carried with him, but I guess at the end of the day, they simply didn’t have enough in common.

(Shrugs)

Sexy Enmore

2011-08-17T03:53:00.000-07:00

I like where I live.

Not a lot of people can say that.

Of course, there are still places that I would like to live over and above the place that I live (New York, Paris for example) but seeing as I need to remain in Australia, I like the little part of the world I live in very much.

In many large cities around the world, there are small areas that represent a free thinking, generally politically leftist perspective. In New York, this might be Greenwich Village. In London, it’s Hoxton or the East End. Belleville in Paris.

I live in a section of Sydney that you might call Bohemian.

Newtown is the main suburb which is primarily a university burb. This keeps it youthful, fresh and interesting. The food is one of the most interesting things about Newtown. It’s usually excellent, cheap and plentiful. $7 lunchtime Thai specials are plentiful and you can always get a good filing meal with a drink for under $20 at night. There are many different cuisines and plenty of little novelty shops and good record stores. A small cinema and plenty of books stores and second hand stores finish off the look.

After Newtown, moving toward my suburb (Petersham) is a very cute little suburb called Enmore, and this is just about my all time favourite place in all of Sydney.

I like Enmore a little more than Newtown because it has less of the hustle and it is less conformist. Newtown could be accused of being a little overrun with the wealthy left, but Enmore can’t. Oh the rich houses may be there in the background, but in the main street the dingy op shop sits next door to the funny looking local organic produce market.

Enmore is the thinking person’s bohemia.

Newtown is for the tourists and visiting Sydney-siders to the area, but Enmore is for the artists, the Goths, the music heads and the unemployable. It has latex stores and corsetry stores as well as the cat protection society.

Eating in Enmore is not quite the pleasure that Newtown is, but there are hidden treasures. A stunning little cafe, packed on weekends, sits gently in the middle of the main street, while if you want a little more bang for your buck the industrious lesbians of Scrambled will make you a less subtle breakfast with all the fat flavours of good old home cooking.

For a suburb three blocks long, it has 2 Mexican restaurants, 5 Thai restaurants, 2 tattoo and piercing parlours, 4 pubs, 2 wine bars, 10 cafes, 2 latex stores, 3 industrial goth / steampunk stores, and 1 enormous block long famous Australian music venue, the Enmore theatre, that hosts the likes of Nick Cave and PJ Harvey when they grace our shores.

This week, Alice Cooper is playing there.

All this in walking distance.

No wonder I love where I live.

The top Ten most Interesting Female Sexual Fantasies

2011-08-16T02:53:00.000-07:00

You’ve probably had all of them – then again maybe not. Then again, maybe you have. Either way, your secret is safe with me.

When Nancy Friday blew the lid on female sex fantasies in 1976 the world was shocked.

Even today, when I did some research for this post, I found immediately we were happy to have the chat about the standard accepted fantasies for women (rape fantasy, BDSM, and group) but what about the really nasty ones that nearly every woman experiences? These are still taboo – in some cases illegal.

Still, we are talking fantasy here. Not practise. We all know the rape fantasy is about being forced to be bad so you don’t have to feel guilt, not about being emotionally abused so that you suffer to the depths of your humanity for months. There is a very big difference between fantasy and reality.

I have compiled a list, called from over 25 lists that I have found on the net and in books that I (conveniently) own. This is the list of my top ten most interesting female sexual fantasies.

10. An audience

What is interesting about this fantasy is that it is not an orgy fantasy. This is a common one for women, where they audience do not participate. Sometimes they watch, sometimes they don’t. When the audience is going about their business, not noticing that Jennifer is fucking her husband on the table in the middle of the restaurant, this can be part of the thrill of being caught, or it can be the tacit approval of love making. Other times, women will get the audience to watch, and sometimes even clap their approval . Sometimes the audience will be stacked with people she knows, or famous figures from films or history.

This is often about control. About being your own Fellini, and deciding what people can and can’t do during your orgasm.

9.Terror

This is not the same as rape. This is a sexual attraction – very real – for abject terror. When I was a teenage girl I had a reoccurring nightmare about being pursued in an abandoned amusement park. Eventually I was chased into a room where cats were being gutted alive into a large pit filled with writhing entrails. This is a dream that I had over and over that used to leave me waking feeling oddly sexual. It wasn’t till I heard about this, this I understood my adolescence was looking at something rather common. Why do some women get aroused by terror? It may have something to do with the bodies responses. Or it may be as simple as the fear of not having an orgasm.

8. Transformation

It will come as no surprise to any of us to discover that women crave beauty.

It is the easiest access to power for a woman, and therefore something that almost all women will want at some point in their lives. However, there are women that crave this sexually. Their own transformation from ordinary looking woman to desirable woman. Fantasies involving “extreme make overs” , or being fashioned by a doctor looking for the perfect woman, are more common than we might think. It makes sense. If by making the mirrors more flattering in the ladies, factories can get better work from their female employees, then it should be no surprise to us that some women find the makeover a sexual experience. At least in fantasy.

7. The fertility Goddess.

This is one for the boys – yes women do fantasise and get off on feeling like they can make many babies, just like the men do. There is a kind of masturbatory fantasy for women that involves them being pregnant and making babies.

But the fertility goddess goes beyond this. Some women fantasise about their vagina's actually being part of the earth. The most deeply fertile place. That when they are being fucked, he is really fucking the earth and they are a deep part of nature.

6. Incest.

Yup. Incest. Go to any of the most popular written porn sites and you will see incest is one of the most popular taboos to break through. This ranges from the sanitized version of “a father” and “a daughter” right through to imagining themselves with their own parents or siblings. Sometimes, incest fantasies for women will cross all sorts of boundaries and have them with both their parents – fantasies about their actual parents. Either way, this is a very strong taboo that many people in societies, male and female, like to fantasise about.

5. Multiracial

This is a very interesting fantasy. It has a lot to do with racism, and guilt over racism. For example some women will fantasise about the black man – but he has to rape her – alleviating her guilt at wanting to be with a man of colour. When women fantasise about black men, they usually have the stereotyped huge cock. Indulging in racism in this way, especially if one feels guilty about racist ancestors or abandoned upbringing, can be very arousing. Stereotypes live through Asian men as well, the physical attributes taking over any other sort of attraction. Interestingly, with Asian men, the fantasy is often a rape one also.
Having said that, I don't mean to imply all multiracial fantasy is steeped in racism. Just that it is generally and unresolved element of our collective psyche.

4. Fetishists

One of the big mistakes made in psychoanalysis is the idea that women do not experience fetishes.

Women have very interesting, for the most part unexplored, fetishes. One I read about tonight was a deep sexual desire for spilling urine. Not the urine itself (that is surprisingly common and not a fetish) but the act of holding it back till you can’t any longer and splashing it about everywhere. I also knew of a woman who wanted to be dressed up and would pose like a mannequin at sex parties. No one was to touch her all night, she stayed perfectly still. This was her ultimate sexual fulfilment. Fetish alright.

3. Young boys

A big taboo, but one often played out in the teacher / librarian – student scenario. This is all about power. It is all about control. Just like it is for the male counterpart. But there is also something homoerotic in the attraction for the young boy. A kind of male-ising of the female. The young boy has all those connotations of early Greece and the Marquis de Sade. Men having sex with beautiful young boys was the ultimate refusal of women. Women fantasise for many reasons, and often want the privileges that males are gifted. This is a fantasy that allows them to get it, with all the guilt of the age of the boy to act as the perfect distraction.

2. Anonymity

You don’t need to be a rocket scientist here to see the desire in women to be anonymous or why that might be.
In some fantasies she is madame X at the local brothel, and in others she is just more powerful and able to walk up and take what she wants. Anonymity always means the woman doesn’t have to explain herself. And considering women often feel as thought they have to explain themselves, this is a great relief.

1. The Zoo

Yes! The big one. Lock up your pets, and keep away from the aquarium, this is actually one of the most common female fantasies. Its one of my personal favourites, and I know of many women who will enjoy many different kinds of animals in their masturbatory pleasures. A lot of this has to do with the size of that thing hanging down between their legs. Its difficult for women to ignore animal cocks that are obvious. There is also the no guilt factor – usually it all happens “accidently” with no planning, and then there is that primal animal base experience of just fucking because you can.

Well there you have it. 10 of the female fantasy's that Don't usually make it to any of the lists.

The sexual Pleasures of Monogamy

2011-08-15T04:38:00.000-07:00

I have always said in our westernized cultures we are for the most part rather prudish about sex. We giggle like school boys at the most banal dirty jokes and we are still socked by swear words. For the most part, our pornography is repetitive and dull and fulfils only a teenage male’s sexual fantasy.

Nowhere is this more obvious than in our attitudes to monogamy.

Monogamy is seen to be this giant rusting chastity belt meaning your wife owns you and you will never have sex again as long as you live.

This theory forgets of course that men were the ones to come up with monogamy, and are still the ones who need it the most – that is in order to be sure of their offspring’s DNA. Which brings me to another aspect of this prudishness – the desire for sex to be only about procreation.

This is an across the board prudishness; both the religious and the biological determinist / evolutionists (usually arch enemies) are contented bed fellows on this topic. (I make no apology for the pun) They roll around all over each other with such abandon that you can’t tell where one starts and the other finishes. Both stand somewhere on the time line with sex only ever for procreation on one end and sex is ok, as long as you use desire for procreation as the “excuse”.

Another aspect of this belief shared by these two schools of thought is sex does not need intimacy and monogamy is some sort of punishment that will ensure you are never able to enjoy sex again.

All of this thankfully is complete nonsense. Couples have been enjoying their sex lives for many thousands of years. Despite our penchant for decrying monogamy, couples are still getting the best and most frequent sex, and relationships remain the desire for people the world over, no matter what they are saying in surveys or over copious amounts of alcohol.

There is always talk stating we need to be “aware” that most couples will have to deal with infidelity at some point, either together or alone, but this is based on statistics where people volunteer information about their sexual habits. Any psychiatrist will tell you people lie more about sex and money and it adds to the self esteem (lord knows why) of the individual if they can establish themselves as having cheated on their spouse at some point.

I’m convinced people cheat out of boredom – not with the marriage, but with their day job, their life, and their age – that sort of thing. I think it has more to do with immaturity and a lack of emotional development than any kind of biological or “natural” need.

The reasons I think this, is because sex with someone who knows you really well is just so superior to sex with people who don’t know you.

If you are addicted to porn, or need the school boy thrill of seeing your first pair of naked breasts then yes, you will need the stimulation of something new to distract you.

But if you are at all familiar with the deep pleasures of your erogenous zones, you will understand what I mean when I say, your lovers tongue on your ear lobe, delicately pushing around inside your ear and then whispering what they wish they could do to you, will send you wilder than any across the room flirt with a woman you think is hot purely because you know nothing about how much she hates her mother or how old her children are. Over time and experimentation and the changes in the body, your long time lover can provide you with pleasures no instant gratification type can offer.

So I say the sooner we get honest about monogamy the better. Basically there is a reason everyone in the world wants it so much.

Because it’s wonderful.

Grab a piece of Bondi.

2011-07-24T07:08:00.000-07:00

Dont forget to grab a copy of my novel Take it as it Comes.
Sun soaked beaches.
The world of high flying fashion.
Older women.
Younger men.
Enjoy.

Guru Guru - enjoy a little Krautrock

2011-07-24T05:54:00.000-07:00

I'm really into the psych stuff at the moment.
I get a light headiness.
Like I'm in the drug, not of the drug.
Not used by the drug.
It's not easy, but letting music like this use you provides a visceral vibration that taps into something usually only accessed through mind altering substances.
On a day when we have lost Amy Winehouse, I'm happy to advocate the hard yards and encourage using intense music therapy to get closer to the devil inside.
Enjoy.

Japanese Bathhouse Porn

2011-07-20T01:16:00.000-07:00

Today's little tid bit was some bath house porn.

I stumbled across this. Japanese women aren't normally my thing - i'm not into the giggly little girly thing.

At least I thought I wasn't.

I found this little bit of porn really sexy. Five women pleasuring one man. He is licked all over by the women as his penis gets harder and harder. Eventually, covered in oil, one of the women slides over him and pleasures herself, and then they all just take turns. I 'finished' at the point where he had one girl riding him, two riding the fingers of each hand and the other two girls kissing his legs waiting for their turn.

It was gorgeous!

As I said, I have never really been into the 'Asian girly' thing before. But this time I understood. I saw the intense eroticism in it. Seeing those women sort of lose themselves - there isn't the aggression of the Caucasian porn stars. Competition seems to be lacking (although i am sure it is there) and it was all just a very intense erotic experience. Tactile rather than visual. This appealed to me a lot.

So - I recommend you check some out.

Enjoy.

Little religious girlie dreams of better days...

2011-07-11T03:30:00.000-07:00

When I was a young girl, I was a part of a very restrictive religion that had fixed and firm limited positions about the topics of women, sexuality and the rights to freedom. This is not an uncommon story amongst erotica writers.

I was blessed though.

In my little pure white and pale blue room, I had some small but oh so meaningful treasures.

I smuggled into my room the Baroness Series of books.

I was also, for some very strange reason, allowed to listen to Queen.

Freddy Mercury was there for me in the dark. He was safe (gay) but easily the sexiest creature I had ever laid eyes on in my life. I had several posters of him in my bedroom - a wild hungry man he seemed to me. I would dream that he would come to lfie, stare at me from the hole in the wall poster where he lived, and with THAT look - you know the one... he always gets it when he's worked up - he'd curl his arms around the frame and step out into the romm, called by the warmth of my bed and the moisture between my legs.

He inspired my girlie wet dreams for years. And I still thank him for it.

Gilles Berquet - Eroticism under the microscope.

2011-06-20T07:08:00.000-07:00

How do you feel when you see works this the one above? What does it inspire?
Georges Bataille said: 'Eroticism is assenting to life even in death.' In his mind this was a celebration of life. It was a way of understanding the life force. Please understand - I do not mean the survival force. The above picture is not about reproduction. It is about the joy of being alive, and it is about life's drive toward its own fulfilled life.

These are some of the works of Gilles Berquet, a French photographer still alive and working today. He particularly likes to do erotic photographs.
Again, to quote Bataille: Life has always taken place in a tumult without apparent cohesion, but it only finds its grandeur and its reality in ecstasy and in ecstatic love. Is this accurate? Does life come together and start to make sense in the erotic?

'The essence of morality is a questioning about morality; and the decisive move of human life is to use ceaselessly all light to look for the origin of the opposition between good and evil.' Bataille.

"A judgment about life has no meaning except the truth of the one who speaks last, and the mind is at ease only at the moment when everyone is shouting at once and no one can hear a thing."

"Pleasure only starts once the worm has got into the fruit, to become delightful happiness must be tainted with poison."

If Bataille is correct, and pleasure only starts with the shadow ugliness of that pleasure, then morality is a fluid thing that needs to be examined freshly as each new challenge to morality rises. Erotic beauty may be erotic, but it is still beautiful.

Women on Top

2010-07-03T23:07:00.000-07:00

Have you read the Nancy Friday Books yet?

OK - they're from a few years back.

However, I still find them exciting and relevant.

Women on top analyses the sexual fantasies of more than 150 women to find out what women think about when they're masturbating.

When the book first came out, this was still shocking and women were still thought to not have sexual fantasies.

However, I still find it relevant today, as well as a little shocking.

One of the interesting aspects of this study, is the attraction women have for unusual types of sex like bestiality. While this may seem unlikely at first, when you look at the attraction women have for 'shape shifting' heroes in romance novels, it may not be as surprising as we imagine.

So what is it that women have for beasts? there are a lot of them in literature. Don't forget Frankenstein was created by a 21 year old Mary Shelly. We have the lover affair between beauty and the beast. And then today we have vampires and ware wolves. Some romance novels even have a woman keeping the wolf or dog as a 'pet' that morphs into human form, who they end up taking as their lover.

Mmmmm.....

You've really got to wonder what is behind this.

www.barbranovac.com

Catherine Millet at the Sydney Writers Festival

2010-05-30T21:09:00.000-07:00

Linda Jarvin, Catherine Millet and a french interpreter at the Sydney Writers Festival.

At the Sydney writers festival this year, Catherine Millet discusses her recent book Jealousy and reveals that in order to free herself from a terrible period of her life that she calls The Crises, she wrote the original Secret Life of Catherine M in order to free herself from a terrible jail cell she'd created for herself.

At the festival, she likened what she went through to a social experiment encased in art, observing her life in the context of libertine while at the same time making something so universal extremely personal.

This is the talent of the artist. To take the universal and make it personal so that we are able to make it universal again is something Millet knows she is capable of. In Jealousy, you realise that is how she sees herself, as the artist playing out a role for herself, everyone and herself.

None of this is intentional, as she makes very clear, and yet there is a kind of fatalism about it, as if it is what we choose to do with all that makes us who we are that allows fate to exist in the first place.

Catherine describes her situation as her physical body hurtling through space searching for a hard surface to crash into. And yet there is no hard surface to crash into and there never will be. It is the anxiety that she believes artists feel as they allow themselves to "go down the rabbit hole."

There are so many things to talk about with this book. Shame, humiliation, hysteria, possession, masturbation, voyeurism, fear, self loathing and indulgence are some of the topics visited here in interesting ways. Mostly I was startled by Catherine's maturity and her sophistication. She is oh so very French.

Barbra

www.barbranovac.com

Catherine Millet - Jealousy

2010-05-30T20:36:00.000-07:00

The question is: Does a libertine have the right to be jealous?

Catherine has a relationship with Jacques based on the theories of the libertine. That is, a don't ask don't tell aspect to their relationship that allows each to live their private sexual life without having to share it with the other. Their partnership is based on other loves and considerations. The sexuality of each belongs to the self.

When Catherine Millet wrote about her sexual life in The Sexual Life of Catherine M, a tale of hysteria so desperate drive her, that writing the book was the only source of hope and freedom for her. You see Catherine had gotten wind of her husbands "other" life, and although she had her own "secrets" she (to her own shame) pursued his, snooped around, and came up with the goods.

What ensued was three years of what Millet calls The Crises in her life. She experienced the most profound jealousy, imaging herself in her husbands shoes as he took other women, fantasising about his lovers, masturbating to his infidelities.

However, and Catherine spoke very eloquently of this at the Sydney Writers Festival this year, because of her libertine beliefs, she had no way of blaming Jacques. He was living according to a code of ethics the two had agreed to together. In other words, he had done nothing wrong. Catherine had not been wronged. There was no place to locate her jealousy besides inside herself.

Thus begins a three year period of The Crises when Catherine perpetually tortured and humiliated herself through the curse of jealousy.

Fortunately for us, Catherine is an amazing writer. She has written the book out for us and we can experience every second along with Catherine of the horror of emotional self abuse.

Catherine was not being blamed for her lifestyle. She was not being punished for loving a libertine. Catherine was doing something to herself, and getting a twisted and perverse pleasure out of it.

Barbra

www.barbranovac.com

The Sexual Life of Catherine M

2010-05-30T20:25:00.000-07:00

I saw Catherine Millet at the Writers’ festival last week.

I should confess right up front that I am a huge fan and that the next three posts will be all about her and some of the things she said at the festival.

For those of you who don’t like her - I apologise and promise in a few days all will be back to normal.

For those of you who don't know how she is, she is a French art critic / analyst who is very famous for her influence on the modern art world in France.

However, and here comes the part where I fell in love with her, in 2002 she wrote a memoir called The Sexual Life of Catherine M. This is a frank, tell all description of her love life as a libertine. Catherine describes a libertine as a person who has no belief in God and therefore they create their own morals. For many libertines, this plays out in their sexual life. For Catherine, it meant taking many lovers, sometimes many at one time.

At the time this book was written, Catherine was fifty-four years old, writing about a time in her history when she sourced her self esteem from being sexually brave. I was a woman of thirty-five years old experimenting heavily with her own sexuality. I was engaged in the BDSM lifestyle and learning a great deal about myself and others in the process.

In 2005 Catherine came to the Sydney writers festival to talk about her book and about how difficult it was to write such a frank account. She was very honest in saying two things prevailed. 1) it was an easy book to write because there is a subliminal admiration for women who are courageous about this sort of thing. 2) Everyone was interested in her and in the sex, rather than in the quality of the writing.

Catherine has said that in order to write about her own experiences, she had to step out of herself and see herself as object. She looked at herself as she would a work of art, and used the art critics voice to tell her story. The way the book was written is a significant part of why this book is so shocking. It is written without emotion. Catherine is very detached and separate to the woman described in the book, and yet one can't help feeling Catherine may have actually have been like that, observing herself in the act of living, taking mental notes as she watched herself have sex with so many different people.

However, what I learnt at the 2010 Sydney Writers festival is that all was not well with Catherine later on and that leads us to tomorrows post.

Barbra

http://www.barbranovac.com/

Fast Review - Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella

2010-05-05T03:43:00.000-07:00

Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella

I really enjoyed this book. It's my frist Sophie kinsella book and I think she does a wonderful job. All the little twists and tuirns ultimate lead you to where you expected to go but not in the way you expected to get there. Toward the end of the novel, I couldn't put it down. Lots of fun!

View all my reviews >>

Tantric Sex

2010-04-19T04:09:00.000-07:00

Do you know much about tantric sex?

It is famous for it's jokes in our culture rather than for how much we know about it. At least I think that is the case, from what I could gather on the Internet.

However tantric sex is really about joining in a deeper way with your lover. It's about finding each other past the boundaries we have in place to keep us safe and comfortable. Tantric sex encourages the use of ritual and exercises to find ways to get closer to your partner and have sex be more of a spiritual experience.

One of the articles I read recently talks of a commitment ritual that consecrates your relationship. Here are the steps:

1. Start by affirming your decision to be together by choice.

2. Take turns to describe what you value about your partner, and tell your lover why you are committed to the relationship.

3. Talk about how the relationship has helped you blossom, and what you appreciate unexpected ways the relationship has unfolded.

4. Articulate the fundamental principles in your relationship, whether honesty, love, fidelity, or courage.

5. Share what you would like to improve.

6. Outline aspects of the relationship you will work on in order to improve it.

7. Listen to your partner express their feelings about the dynamics of the relationship.

8. Hear your partners intentions for the relationship.

9. Repeat what you both value about the relationship.

10. Express your mutual appreciation and respect for each other.

11. Celebrate your desire to give each other pleasure and to celebrate the bliss inside yourself.

12. Acknowledge the sacredness of sexuality and its power to transform your life.

Sounds like a lovely night in to me.

Enjoy

Barbra

Arranged Marraiges

2010-04-12T03:16:00.000-07:00

I heard an interesting piece on the radio today about arranged marriage.

In the West we have always stood against arranged marriage. I have heard women like Indira Ghandi speak in favor of it, but on the whole, we've doggedly dug our heels in about wanting to make our own choice.

But arranged marriages were not always about putting you with someone your parents like. Sometimes it was an arrangement made with a local matchmaker (often a woman) who saw two people with common tastes and from common backgrounds, who recognized the sorts of compatibility that will make for an excellent lifelong connection.

We still turn our back on these kinds of ideas in the West - or do we?

More and more people are turning to on line dating sites to be "fixed up" with people they are compatible with. This has a great deal in common with arranged marriages. When they go into these sites, they hook up around likes and dislikes, political and religious beliefs and even physical preference. There are even websites totally devoted to just hooking beautiful people up with beautiful people.

So what is the difference between this, or looking for like minds on facebook etc and going to a traditional matchmaker?

Maybe the non westernized countries had something there?

Barbra

Sex Workers

2010-04-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

I went to a wonderful workshop at a feminist conference today. It was led by sex workers, mostly women, a trans man and another man. There was about thirty of us in the small area divided off from another section. Many of the people in the audience were sex workers as well.

That sex workers were included in a feminist conference was a big deal. In the past feminists have been the arch enemy of sex workers. However, sex workers deal with a lot of unfair discrimination, not to mention unpleasantness from the general public (you and I) that is encouraged by inaccurate stereotypes, so it had always puzzled them that the feminists would see them as enemies.

Mind you, they can't really understand why women see them as the enemy at all. But that is because they have one enormous advantage over us women at home - knowledge.

So the first thing to talk about is why I went to this workshop when I had many to choose from.

It all started with an interesting article I read about younger women who are going to male prostitutes (buffed handsome, healthy ones) to lose their virginity. I was shocked and enthralled to learn about this. But after thinking about it for a little while, I thought – what a great idea! (I wish I'd thought of that years ago)

Imagine parents going to a sex worker, and having a conversation with hr about enrolling their son or daughter in safe / consensual / open minded sex? And then offering it to their son or daughter as a gift or opportunity?

Anyway, that article made me think. What if prostitution wasn’t in the hand of sleazy men? What if it belonged to women and healthy good men? What if you could go and “sweat out” those “girl attraction” issues you had with a professional instead of your best friend when you were drunk? What if men could be educated about safe sex and consensual sex from a professional instead of trying to work it out for themselves from a world filled with porn and mates and jealous girlfriends?

It’s a radical idea – I know. And its way out there. But still, it bares thinking about. I mean, unless you think sex and love are the same thing, there is no way something like this can interfere with your love life – I mean your real love life. So where is the threat?

Speaking with these women and men today helped me see that sex workers are NOT our enemy. We are simply told that. It is not a choice between “Madonna and whore” as we have been told either. There is more to the subject than that. These women are friends, students, mothers, transgendered people living difficult lives, gay men, gay women, your neighbor, your friend. They are older, younger, all body types and they are beautiful and ugly and sometimes both at different times.

They’re you and me.

I was very grateful they took the time to talk with me and I was very grateful to be a part of the conversation.

Please feel free to read more about sex workers rights at the Scarlet Alliance website.

Fun at the Burlesque

2010-03-08T03:25:00.001-08:00

Recently my husband and I went to the Adelaide writers festival and while we were there we

attended Adelaide writers week. For those of you who follow me on Facebook and Twitter, you'll know I had a wonderful time.

However, at nights, without children, the subterranean bubbles of freedom sent us champagne giddy and we ran like gypsies to the fringe festival.
One of the highlights of any good contemporary Fringe festival is the Burlesque.
Burlesque has been going through a revival in the last few years, so much so that it was announced in the New York Times in 2008 as having a large part to play in that cities art scene.

Burlesque is ironic, it's intelligent, it's cheeky, and it's fun. It's not what you think it is and it is not going to disappoint you by being something other than what you expect.

Because we already felt like giddy teenagers, it proved to be just the right 'inspiration' for huby and I to create a little magic on our own.

There are great Burlesque acts like Lili St Cyr, Gypsy Rose Lee and more recently Dita Von Tease. But for the more adventurous there is something extra special like a splash of Dirty Martini.

I think one of the things that makes Burlesque so much fun, is that every woman wants to have a go at this some time...

All in all, We had a wonderful, sexy fun time with our week long flirt with Burlesque. I can highly recommend it to those of you who have partners and to those of you who are looking for a partner!

Enjoy

Barbra

The desire for kink

2010-02-20T02:41:00.000-08:00

I went to a book launch last week, that I will do a review on soon. It is a book called 'Kink' and it is an exploration of kinky sex that goes on around the Sydney area.

I'll talk more about this another time, but one thing the writer said intrigued me. She said BDSM ranges in severity. There are those who want to be treated as the object and to have seduction forced upon them, and then there are those who want to be nailed to a crucifix.

I thought this was a very interesting point, because what I find fascinating about writing erotic romance is the way it is revealing more and more about female sexuality. There are some modern day surprises - like the fondness for male on male erotica. I have to confess, I have always had a 'thing' for male on male porn, and it is a strong fantasy of mine, but to see that so many other women shared this fondness was liberating.

Another of the most popular styles of erotica is the BDSM fantasy. That women love BDSM has been a source of fascination for everyone, from the Marquis de Sade himself all the way through to Freud.

However, I suggest that it is not necessarily the masochistic or sadistic side of BDSM that women love. Rather its the role place and to be the object of obsession or intense focus. Women are very drawn to the idea of a man being so obsessed with them, he needs to tie them up and dominate them completely to his will. It is the idea of inspiring this response in a thinking, free male, that is so enticing to women.

For women, power is a difficult issue. We are not necessarily comfortable with exerting power over others. this is changing, however it is still very exciting to imagine that without trying you can render someone to the state of obsession, simply by existing.

When I used to engage in BDSM myself (more on this in later posts) I always found the role of the submissive to be an intensely powerful role. it is not as simple as having someone 'own' you. It is also about 'accidentally' owning them in a different way.

Valentines Day Hints for Him

2010-02-07T01:09:00.000-08:00

Hi there ladies,
So, I have a list here of ten things that he needs to do to get some 'HINTS' about what might work for this forthcoming Valentines Day.
Can you think of any more?
1. Take a look at HER magazines without judgement and with an open mind. What is she interested in? What is she talking to her friends about? Is there a very secret thing you never tell anyone that you could share with her?
2. Go out BEFORE Valentines Day, and buy 1 item from each of the following stores:

Crabtree and Evelyn
The Body Shop
A Card shop (get her a card)
A local liquor store (or chocolate shop if she doesn't drink)
A flower shop
A quality jewellery store

(I absolutely PROMISE you will rock her world)

3. Buy the following items in co ordinated fragrances: Body lotion, hand lotion, bubble bath, fragrant candle, perfumed soap, shampoo and conditioner.

4. Give her a massage. A REAL one. Dim the lights, play her favourite chill out CD, make the bed and put a big fresh towell over it, use some oil (can be a simple plain cooking oil if you don't have much money) and look up some simple massage techniques on the net. Go slow, be gentle, think - all the time - about how you would like to be massaged and only - I repeat ONLY - expect sex if she initiates it.

5. Do a household chore that is usually her 'job'. Make her dinner, clean the bathroom. do the grocery shopping, or clean the kitchen. Do it properly and let her 'discover' it. Don't brag about it as soon as she gets home.

6. Buy yourself a really nice lounge jacket with matching boxers, and take a shower. Shave, do your hair, and put on some after shave. Just wait and see how she reacts to that!

7. Do something with her that you hate doing and do it without complaint. Go dress shopping with her (and give honest warm feedback about how you love to see her dressed) go to a romantic movie, take her to the ballet.

8. behind her back, read one of her favourite erotic romances. One that you know she goes back to over and over. Analyse it and think about yourself and how you treat her. Surprise her by doing something in the book the hero does.

9. Buy her chocolates and tell her you had to do it because you thought she was wasting away to nothing! Hug her and thank her for having such a sexy body!

10. Ask her what worries her the most and EMPATHISE! Don't problem solve. Listen, and give her feedback like "I know that feeling. I was scared when..." or "I get really upset when people..." Validate her feelings!

Most of all, tell her you LOVE LOVE LOVE her!

Seven Days of Valentines

2010-02-06T23:49:00.000-08:00

Seven Days of valentines!

Hi Everyone!

Welcome to Seven Days of Valentines!

What better way to celebrate the joy of romance, than with your favourite romance novels and your favourite romance writers, in the week leading up to Valentines Day.

For the next seven days, Siren authors will be writing, chatting and holding competitions about their romance novels at the Siren-bookstrand readers group. This is a great chance to get into the spirit of Valentines Day and celebrate the joy of romance!

Each day will be dedicated to a different theme. I am writing today - Contemporary Romance.

And...

As if that's not enough, I am also running a week of Valentines updates, fun and competitions! Come back here for a daily dose of all things romance from your favourite romantic films, books and music to book reviews and a wonderful wedding that I am attending on Wednesday that has an extra special Valentines Day romantic twist!

In the next day or so I am announcing a competition, but for the moment I am running a special competition to win a copy of Take It As It Comes. Just come and join up at the writers group, and you could win a copy.

Lets have a wonderful week together!

Enjoy,

Barbra!

Mainstream Erotica Contest

2010-02-03T04:35:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone!
Well here is your chance to vote for me! (very big warm grin)
My story, Send in the Clowns has been posted in a month long contest and I need your votes to win!
Just click here and you will be directed immediately to my post.

A nice big five would be lovely!

Thanks so much and I hope you get a little thrill out of the story.

Enjoy!

Barbra

Delta of Venus - Vintage Erotica Site

2010-02-02T02:53:00.000-08:00

I just found a wonderful vintage erotica site.
Delta of Venus has lots of hard core stuff for aficionados who like a little "strength" to their naughtiness, but it contains lots of class for those who prefer some subtlety.
With everything from old desk top wall papers to sending naughty postcards (what a nice Valentines Day idea) to buying erotic prints through to good old fashioned porn sites and one site called 'honest porn reviews' its a nice little place to spend thirty minutes reading or fifteen minutes alone time or perhaps a full hour with your lover....
Enjoy!
Barbra

I'm in the top ten at Mainstream Erotica

2010-02-02T01:11:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful way to start my blog!

Today I received a mail alert to tell me that my short story Send in the Clowns has been selected in the top ten finalists for the story of the month at Mainstream Erotica, a sophisticated e zine that I subscribe to.

My story isn't up just yet, which only means I have another reason to blog about it as soon as it is. :)

However, as soon as it is there, I will add the link and you can all rush over there to vote for me.

In the meantime, check out the beautiful website that they maintain. It's free to become a member and there are lots of wonderful articles and stories.

Enjoy!

Barbra